Hey y’all! I haven’t written a Mindful Monday post in a while and I figured a great place to pick back up is about relationships! Love Languages to be exact. First let me tell you a little bit about me and my boyfriend Zach. I am a TOTAL extrovert, if I’m not around people then I need a nap. Meanwhile Zach is a total introvert, being around people drains all of the energy from him. If it was up to him we would be total homebodies (nothing wrong with that lifestyle but it doesn’t work for me) and if it was up to me we would never be home! It has taken us a LONG time to figure out a good balance that leaves each of us feeling happy.
Despite our differences we love each other very much and we have grown together through many life stages. He’s my ducky after all (it’s our version of the “she’s your lobster” from the TV show Friends). One thing that helped us understand each other a little better was actually getting to know ourselves better first! Love Languages was actually a topic that was brought up in one of my psychology classes and I immediately wanted to know more. When I first took the test I did it online at Discover Your Love Language. I just discovered that they actually have a free app as well so I downloaded it and retook the test. The app is actually pretty fun when you share with a partner because I can send him little “Love Nudges” for when I feel low on my “Love Tank”. It’s a fun way to communicate that we need something a little special.
There are 5 Love Languages: Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Receiving Gifts. A short description for each is listed below.
Lorine’s Love Language
My Primary Love Language is Quality Time. Basically this means I feel most loved when I’m spending time with people, usually conversing, without distractions (no phone or TV). As an introvert it was sometimes difficult for Zach to understand my need to gab what seemed like ALL of the time when we were together. He also believed, like lots of people, that they can truly multitask and listen to me while doing something else….news flash it’s called active listening for a reason. Once I explained to him how it really made me feel when I felt as though he wasn’t listening he understood why it was important to put away distractions when I wanted to talk.
Zach’s Love Language
Zach actually had a tie for Primary Love Language between Physical Touch and Quality Time. When he first took the test with me a year or so ago his primary was Physical Touch. Now that we don’t see each other daily that might explain the increase in Quality Time. The Love Language of Physical Touch means that he feels loved when we hold hands or when I’m rubbing his head when we’re sitting on the couch.
If y’all remember in my 2019 Goals post I talked about how Zach and I would be going out on dates more frequently. Knowing what our love languages are has actually helped in deciding what would be fun for us! Our latest adventure? We’re going to take couples dance classes to learn some new moves. We’ve mastered dancing in the kitchen to Frank Sinatra so it was time to spice it up! Plus both of our love tanks should fill up with a fun activity like dancing. I’ll let y’all know how it goes! Another great thing about the app is there are a ton of ideas for dates and activities that specifically relate to each love language!
Take the Test!
So, what are you waiting for?! Take the test and let me know what love language you are! Or…if you already know your love language comment below! I’d love to learn more about y’all.
Lo & Zach